Reflection 4

It’s amazing how calming is the drawing process. There is something absolutely hypnotic about it, something beautiful. The fact that it’s on a computer screen (I’m drawing on an iPad) and not on a piece of paper makes no difference whatsoever. It feels like smoothing the nodes on paper is affecting the neuronal nodes in my brain, rearranging and rewiring them. It’s imagination, of course, but what is the world but our creation? Reality is what we decide it is. Here is a time-lapse that may give you a hint of the gentle, hypnotic unfolding that one feels through drawing. Just watching it take place is cool, but there is no substitute for doing it yourself. Go ahead, give it a try, and watch the magic unfold. 🙂

In this drawing, what seemed a time-consuming task of rounding all the sharp edges, is suddenly complete without that much effort. Now that I finished the rounding, I feel kind and calm.

It’s a beautiful feeling that I have an impact on what goes on in my brain, that I can act like an architect of my mind. There is something magical about making things softer. It just feels better when things are smoother rather than sharp. Sharp edges imply conflict, fighting, and pain, more seamless lines and junctions say peace, calm, unity.

I’m grateful to be the architect of my masterpiece. To be so empowered to create my reality. I can create my peace. I make peace, or I choose to disturb it.

I challenge anybody, anyone to do this, and feel more agitated after doing it than before they started.

I don’t think it’s possible.

I certainly have not wholly lost the anger or have my irritation disappear as I’ve been working on this project. But one thing that did happen is that I’ve developed a much healthier relationship with this emotion. I developed a healthy respect for this beautiful feeling that arises within the body. I can feel it freely, let it flow, without the constant contraction that usually goes along with anger. I can just let it be without starting to wind up, without being scared, without attempting to suppress. I can fully feel this emotion go through the body and then disappear. It’s is a beautiful natural movement that happens in the body; that’s all it is — no need to attach any judgments to it. I can see now that the drawing process has transformed anger from a negative phenomenon to recoil from, into something that comes and goes. It happens naturally and has a right and a place to be.

Instead of my usual knee-jerk reaction to anger, I can be here and let it happen. That’s the part that makes all the difference. The way anger is supposed to function in the body is as a momentary blip that subsides right away. The reason it doesn’t let up for us is that the mind starts thinking about, or grinding down on it, or creating something out of it, making it into an entity, a problem. It’s not just merely observing what’s happening. If you let anger be, it rises and falls without transforming you into a mad monster out of control.

Anger is not a problem; it’s how we react to it that creates problems.

Understanding that is truly liberating. Instead of being a victim of anger and unable to control it, you now become a witness of a natural emotion running through a body. The witness does not have to get upset or angry or anxious when the emotion arises.

I’m delighted with how this drawing looks so far, even in these early stages. The whole body relaxes.

Here’s the drawing a few hours later…

And here is the final drawing.

There is no white space at all in this drawing, which is unusual for me, but I felt the preponderance of calm and positive yellow made up for this. I feel that even though the colors and shapes are bold, my inner core is stillness and peace, watching this incredible show of colors and shapes take place.

On to the final drawing.